Prayers

so i sat down and started writing - attempting to beat the clock so this could be my last letter before the clock strikes.

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dear God:

i'm not sure where to begin but i'm sure you know my intentions are in line.
what i've been taught is that when there is no struggle, there is no progress.

2009 brought many struggles - but the progress hasn't been as abundant.
why?

my mother gets upset when i ask you "why", God.
she said i should never question you. i should never ask you anything about your job.
but i've sat in enough classrooms & spent enough alone time with you to know that you don't mind.
i don't want to be a fool.
i am aware that you tend to look after fools, but i'm a grown man. and although your house has many rooms, i don't plan to move home anytime soon.
and because i've questioned you on my search for knowledge, i am well equipped and even more confident when i get to that struggle.

so why, God?
why the many struggles & not so many progresses.

too many people focus on the destination. they fix their minds on the progress.
they don't take the time to adore the struggle.
as hard as these struggles can be, we must sit back sometimes and know that it will be alright.
we must learn to smile at the rain every once in a while, and not sit back in sadness waiting for the sun.

so i write this letter to you, God.

i write this letter to you for my friends & their families:
@mamadiamond2
@Vwayne
@thebrownbarbie
@echi_bon
@pnoty
@mystercarter
dennis karl brown, jr.
@sunyblack
@mswoods03
@ipenhitz
@cga1982
@thekaptainkirk
@roroatl
@msline85
@ms_ladyc
@rev_denique
kanessa
@soon2bmrsaustin

i write for them because there is no such thing as too much prayer.
and as often as i tell them to keep their face ALWAYS to the sunshine so the shadows may fall behind them, i also want them to know that i am going that extra mile for them.

i want them to know that it's not that first mile that counts.
it's the mile no one asked them to take, but they took it anyway.
i took it anyway.

so tonight, God...
let this letter be my prayer to you from us all.

and i hope you welcome this new year just as much as we will.

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and to those i love dearly & those new friends(followers) of mine:
bring in this new years day the way you intend to spend the days following.

i love you all.
peace.


(photo is from my solo trip to the bahamas. where i found God)

sometimes, it becomes about pride.
i was sitting here reflecting on a lot of the going-ons from the past few weeks and pride has prevented me from doing a lot of things. i've refrained from apologizing to people who really needed me to.
it's kept me from achieving a dream/goal i've been feeding for years.

but i decided 5 minutes ago that it won't keep me from anything anymore.
i've decided to shake free of that chain around my mind, and leave pride with the trash on the curb.
and i think you should too.
you: the person who needs to hear it.

so shake free that pride and do like lauryn hill says and "tell him you need him. tell him you love him. and it'll be alright." she was speaking about God.

so i pray to:

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dear God:

i need you. i love you. make everything alright if it is in your will and in my best interest.
thank you.

amen.
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peace.

i was reluctant about heading home for the holidays.
aside from the freezing rain they had christmas day, my family is a bit "touched."
everybody driving everybody else crazy.

i hopped the train and made the journey.
and after the laughs, stories, hugs and kisses - i'm headed back.

we have those family members that drive us insane every time we see them, but we continue to see them.
we have those friends who seem to lose life quality every time you see them, but we continue to give them a call to hook up.
because we know what makes home home.
it's those folks who fixed out cereal when our hand/eye coordination was all jacked up.
those folks who helped you sneak outta your grandmother's window in high school.
that one relative that shows up drunk, messing up your sleep, then ruining everybody's holiday.
it's home.

we must embrace home.
because that is where we store most of our love.
because it's what made us who we are.

and so i pray:

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dear God:

thank you for making things the way you've made them.
those i find promising and those i'm having a hard time grasping.
but i know they exist because they need to.
and thank you most for home. because that is where love live.

some of us entered the 26th with tears in our eyes, mourning our losses (home, money, family, etc.)
some of us forget yesterday is the one day we set aside to truly love EVERYONE - or try to.
but we can't.

let us use the 26th to learn a lesson about the bags we tend to pack and carry around like state i.d.
p. diddy once said: i knew i was successful the first time i flew with no luggage.

we must learn to enter these new endeavors (days, relationships, jobs, etc.) new.
the bags we began packing at the beginning of the old should be discarded at the end and we must use the time between to shop for bigger, better bags.
let us enter the new with empty luggage.

to play around with a few lines from shug: it must piss God off for someone to possess the ability to progress/move on/start new and not use it properly.

let us move on and get closer to our dreams.
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a friend contacted me a little after midnight to ask me to pray for his family because they just lost an elder (grandmother).
so to him - and whoever else needs it:

let us pray:

dear God:
if i can survive the day i can survive tomorrow.
i will live this day and those to come knowing that it is and was you who created it & because of that i will find something to admire and love. i will drop my bags off at the exit of yesterday and fill the new ones with what you've brought me.

i will keep my smile always to the sunshine so the shadows will always fall behind me.

amen.
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peace.

prayer request from:

christopher butler-steward
@thebrownbarbie
@roroatl
@thekaptainkirk
eron riley
andrea smith
ms. michele
@lovelustme

this holiday has come & so many are ready for it to leave already.
whether we celebrate it or not - it's still a day to hold very close.
not because many believe it's the birth of a savior or because gifts are a-comin' - but because it's a moment in time that we will not get back. at least not until the government grants me my wish for plutonium and i can finish my time machine.

so hold these moments of family - love - happiness - thanksgiving - beauty so very very close to you.

i'd love to find a dock to love. create a moment in time.

i got a message from a friend last night telling me that the holiday will no longer bring memories of receiving barbie dream houses years ago. it will bring memories of her god mother lying on her death bed. memories of folks crying.
i asked why was she sad. and i understood the question seemed ridiculous. but seriously:
there's a woman spending her last moments in this realm - i'm sure the last thing she wants her eyes to see is a bunch of sad folks. and in the same respect - i'm sure she doesn't want to leave behind a bunch of teary eyed folks who drop water every december 25th.

hold these moments so very close to you.
celebrate that!

and this is my prayer for the day:

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dear god:

strengthen my mind so that my memory is as strong as my faith.
i want to remember every happy moment you have allowed me to live with my family and friends.

amen.
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peace.

today is one of those days when too many people get lost in the the thought of what's coming for them tomorrow.
lost in their stories and boastings about how much money they've spent and how they wish they hadn't brought so much. this prayer is not for those folks, then.

this prayer, sadly enough, is for those who probably won't read it. those who lay their heads on slabs of concrete or cardboard boxes, contemplating what soup kitchen to attend tomorrow. those who feel abandoned by any holiday's spirit.
the forgotten ones.

because they may not get to a computer, how about you tell them this story for me.
the story of a little girl:

there was an article in a newspaper a few years back about a little girl that went fishing with her father.
they went down a few hills to the river because that's where the best fish were, her father told her.

not too long after casting his line into the water, his pole broke. realizing he left his tool box in the car, he told his daughter to wait there for him. "do not go anywhere, baby. okay? I'll be back," he said.

"you promise," she asked in her 7-year-old voice.
"i promise."

he fetched his toolbox.
the problem is: when he returned to the river, his daughter was gone. but where?
she hadn't come up the hill because he would have seen her.

oh my god, she must have gone into the water.
search and rescue was called.
after a 4 hour search, the team spotted the little girl in the water, holding tightly to a branch, whistling as though there was nothing to worry about.

they grabbed her!
it was a miracle, they said.
a 7-year-old girl getting swept away by a strong current, found alive a mile down stream doesn't happen, they said.
so they asked her: how did you know to hold on to that branch? weren't you scared when you got taken away by that water?

she replied:
no. my father promised me he was coming back for me, and when he makes a promise, he means it.

so this is my prayer for the day: (say it silently or aloud)
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dear God:
i will not allow the rivers that attempt to drown me to become stronger than your love for me.
i know i have not been forgotten. when the currents get too strong, i will find the closest branch - and hold on tight, and wait.
i will see you soon.

amen.
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peace.

prayer requests made by:
@thebrownbarbie
@chuckmethiz
@labellerochelle
@jefro5
@abednego_jones
@jdantv
@apuje
@thekaptainkirk
@roroatl
@mentalorgasm

i spent most of the day searching for a flight here & there - not really sure where to go.
my original plan was to be sitting on south beach this weekend, cracking crabs and drinking ruby red grapefruit juice with beautiful people.
but that didn't happen.
i'll find myself in fur-lined hoodies - mobbing the streets of new york.
no big deal.

but my friends are all flying across countries, peeking out of windows at the something much bigger than them.
and i find myself telling them to be the passenger & the pilot.

then the confused look.
"the pilot? why should i be the pilot."

and i tell them they need to be in control at all times.
they need to know what turbulence to expect & when it's safe to move about.
it's the pilot that knows when it's safe to come down for a while and refuel.
and my friends all smile and continue packing.

fresh underwear: √
toothbrush: √
fruit roll-ups: √
condoms (just in case): √
mom's christmas gift: √

and i neglect to tell them the most important part of being a pilot.
but they already know:

always always always stay in touch with the control tower!


so i say this prayer (say it aloud or silently):

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dear God:

it is the turbulence in my life that allows me to appreciate the perfect flights.
i do not love you simply because you have lightened my loads and answered my prayers.
i love you because when i need to get in touch with the control tower - the control tower is always there.
clear skies.
today is going to be a perfect flight.

amen.
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peace.


prayer requests made by:

@thebrownbarbie
@sunyblack
@pnoty
Dante
@dontejahmar
@iConicPres
serenewoods

2009 is leaving & taking with it a bunch of names - those who left this foundation for a greater one.
and it's leaving so many of us questioning our health - our happiness - our goals & definitely our paths.
and here i am telling the masses: death is not to be feared. what we should fear is dying but leaving nothing behind.

what do we do now that we know for certain that death can come at anytime?
we don't FOCUS on death. we FOCUS on life!
we focus on what we need to do to make sure that dash between birth and death means something to all those who will share stories about us in barbershops and beauty salons - in classrooms and family reunions.

so what do we pray for?
we pray for an eagle eye.
we need to focus on what it is we really want to say (verbally, physically, with our hearts) - then we attack (we SAY it)!
we pray for discipline so that once our eyes are set - we are able to walk that straight path to our goal.
we pray that the path is not too easy because we know that without struggle there is no progress.

we pray to God and tell him 'thank you' for answering these prayers.

and so today i pray: (say it loudly or to yourself):

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dear God:

it is was good intentions that i ask for the following:
i ask for focus on this path you've made that i've been paving.
i ask for discipline that my vision does not dim and my intentions do not weaken.
i pray that you remain by my side until all goals are complete, believing in me like i believe in you.

amen.
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prayer requests received from:
@beesaun
@ladymystiq
@areee (ari)
poetik badu
D.K.B.
@blacktiepro
@echi_bon

peace.

Dear God:

today - more than ever - i found myself staring at a clear sign that I AM WHERE I AM BECAUSE MY THOUGHTS HAVE BROUGHT ME HERE.

so i am now going to change my thoughts.
i am going to change my thoughts because i know my actions are a result of those thoughts and my situation is a direct result of those actions. it's a three point circle for me now.

everything we achieve and everything we fail to achieve are directly linked to out thoughts.

so i'm starting today.
i'm achieving now.

so my prayer today is (repeat silently or aloud):

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dear God -
i am fully aware that the heart and mind are not completely separated
and today i will remove the trash from mind so that what remains is in tune with what's always been in my heart.
i will remove the rearview mirrors and drop the negativity and pointless thoughts some place and never look back.

amen.
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peace.